it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Everything about him screamed your future.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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