you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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