I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
