Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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