He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
