Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
