I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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