Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
