its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
