a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
50% drunk capacity currently
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
