I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
