he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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