So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
