STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
