My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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