That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
