K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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