I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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