We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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