Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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