Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
