dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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