Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
