you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
