Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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