Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
