It's Friday. Sex?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
