9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
