She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
