Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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