i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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