She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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