dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize