you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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