I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
