If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize