Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
