sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
