Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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