She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
