I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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