I hate all girls vehemently.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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