what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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