Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
