i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches