Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...