I need to stop coming to work sober
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together