I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
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I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex