You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room