I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize