Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
