He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
