I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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