Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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