i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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