you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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