She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
