you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
