Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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