how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
