Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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