great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
