she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
